Dear DOC LAMOUR, from London - UK



I have to face a very tricky situation. I am very confused. Can I date 2 guys at the same time?

My friend Julie told me that maybe you could help me to make a difficult decision. I broke off a 2 1/2 year long relationship with my ex-boyfriend, Rob, in December. The reason being was that we had an on and off relationship and I suspected him to see other women.
During our breakup I happened to meet a guy, named John. He's not really handsome, but he has plenty of charm and he makes me laugh.

I told John right away that I was coming out of a difficult long-term relationship and was not looking for anything serious. He seemed disappointed and backed off. But he kept coming to the shop and I finally accepted to go out with him. We went hill-climbing and it was great fun!
We've been dating since January and he's been talking about me moving in with him. Yet, I kept thinking about Rob, my ex. So for now, I have been spending some time with John at his apartment and he's so kind he even gave me keys to his place. Do you think I should move into his place even if I keep thinking about Rob?

The thing is that, last week, Rob, my ex-boyfriend sent me an E-card for my B-day and we met again. He seems to have changed totally. He proposed marriage to me during the dinner and he gave me a silver ring. He said that he realized he loved me and he wants me to become his wife. We drank a lot and we ended up in bed. The night was great and we made things that I had never experienced before. I love him and I feel guilty for John. Yet, I have the feeling I should stick with John, because I am not sure about Rob.

I've never been in that kind of situation, dating 2 guys at the same time. I hate it because I have the feeling I am going to lose something one way or another. I love Rob and I love John. What should I do?

Liz


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from Paris-France
the city of Love


Hi Liz,

I will be sincere with you, and I will go straight to the point. My answer from Paris is: you put yourself in a big mess. Now, it is said, I agree it's not going to help you much. Well... It's obvious you can't lead them on at the same time for long. Your feelings are mixed. And I suggest that you make like with tea: let it brew. Give it some time.

Spend more time with your new boyfriend to know him better, and find out if love can grow. Don't move definitely into his place until you're sure you can go down the road together. But you can see how it works if you spend 3/4 weeks together. Get to know one another. Flirting and living together are 2 different things.

Don't be stressed out and stop drinking. Trying to seat between 2 chairs, and you end up on the floor.

The first chair was broken, so you got another one. Now, the old chair says it's repaired. Why giving away the new chair if you haven't tested it yet? Look at it carefully. Give it some time, then follow your instincts and obey your HEART.

If you want to know how to make anyone crazy about you, I put the best tricks in my success seduction guide "The French Secrets".

Bonne chance, mon amie!


Your French Coach,

Doc LAMOUR


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About the author: Doc LAMOUR is a famous dating expert and resides in Paris, the city of love.